There were 2 big hits at the Iowa State Fair this year: deep fried sticks of butter and Rick Perry. One of those will leave you feeling dizzy, nauseous and suicidal, and the other is a fucking deep fried stick of butter. What is wrong with Iowans?

For starters, many are pro-ignorance. In a recent survey, only 21% of Iowa’s Republicans “believe” in global climate change. Only 35% “believe” in evolution. And nearly 44% don’t “believe” in gravity. God makes things fall to the ground. Apparently.

Okay, it’s one thing for obesatards (sorry, that’s trademarked, suckas!) to reject the science lessons they couldn’t sit through in high school; hell, they were dreaming of deep frying pencils, spit balls, cute girls, butter, but what about the Texas Goober Rick Perry? How does that Texas A&M Aggie explain his “beliefs” against science.

Perry says that big science has been duping us for years on climate change just to cash in on grant money. Grant money! Ca-ching! The petroleum industry pays obscene amounts of money to scientists willing to disprove climate change data, but the Perrytard thinks the real money is in grant writing.

He also explains away evolution by saying it has “too many gaps.” You know, like a mall. It was easy to laugh at one-time senate candidate Christine O’Donnell when she dismissed evolution by asking why apes aren’t turning into people right before our eyes. Apparently, she never looked at Rick Perry.

What’s next? The obviously “refutable” Laws of Physics? The moonbat theories behind heart disease? The sun really does revolve around the earth? Surely Rick Perry sees the sun rising and setting, not the earth.

This would be amusing if this Low Q didn’t have his finger on the pulse on a whole lot of voters. The same voters who sit slack jawed eating bowls of butter while O’Reilly tells them the unexplainable phenomenon of the tides. “Tides come in, tides go out. Tides come in, tides go out. And no one can explain it.”

Well, scientists can, but who wants to listen to their “theories,” when you can just believe what you want to believe. Hey, look! A floating apple! Suck it, Newton!

So here’s a picture of the “Weirdo Blognesso’s” with comedy royalty Lizz Winstead, co-creator of “The Daily Show.” It’s sad when you start to look older than your parent. Anyway, Lizz is doing God’s work (some might say the government’s work) by touring the country and raising funds for Planned Parenthood. She visited our hamlet and did a terrific show with comedian sister that, hopefully, netted some cash and maybe just touched a few hearts. Visit with reservation for more photos.

My earlier brush with Lizz came in the mid-90s when Craiggers was still hosting the show. I had submitted some writings to them, which consisted of the older, print version of your beloved Philistine. I got a note back from the Head Writer that Lizz would like to see some more samples. Holy crap! I thought as I started to pack up all of my belongings…before wrapping them in a kerchief and attaching them to a stick. We’re going to Hollywood, New York!

Then, as it always does, disaster struck. Kilborn, ever the jocktard (sorry, that’s trade marked) made a disparaging comment about Lizz in Esquire. A feud in the media ensued and Comedy Central backed Kilborn. Smart choice.

To make a short story seem like eternity, I have never written for the Daily Show. Probably just as well, though. I’m not big on topical humour. Hell yeah I spelled it like I’m British. I’d be stealing flat screens too in a show of solidarity!

Final thought on Lizz Winstead: she has a book coming out. Be vigilant in your pursuit.