There were 2 big hits at the Iowa State Fair this year: deep fried sticks of butter and Rick Perry. One of those will leave you feeling dizzy, nauseous and suicidal, and the other is a fucking deep fried stick of butter. What is wrong with Iowans?

For starters, many are pro-ignorance. In a recent survey, only 21% of Iowa’s Republicans “believe” in global climate change. Only 35% “believe” in evolution. And nearly 44% don’t “believe” in gravity. God makes things fall to the ground. Apparently.

Okay, it’s one thing for obesatards (sorry, that’s trademarked, suckas!) to reject the science lessons they couldn’t sit through in high school; hell, they were dreaming of deep frying pencils, spit balls, cute girls, butter, but what about the Texas Goober Rick Perry? How does that Texas A&M Aggie explain his “beliefs” against science.

Perry says that big science has been duping us for years on climate change just to cash in on grant money. Grant money! Ca-ching! The petroleum industry pays obscene amounts of money to scientists willing to disprove climate change data, but the Perrytard thinks the real money is in grant writing.

He also explains away evolution by saying it has “too many gaps.” You know, like a mall. It was easy to laugh at one-time senate candidate Christine O’Donnell when she dismissed evolution by asking why apes aren’t turning into people right before our eyes. Apparently, she never looked at Rick Perry.

What’s next? The obviously “refutable” Laws of Physics? The moonbat theories behind heart disease? The sun really does revolve around the earth? Surely Rick Perry sees the sun rising and setting, not the earth.

This would be amusing if this Low Q didn’t have his finger on the pulse on a whole lot of voters. The same voters who sit slack jawed eating bowls of butter while O’Reilly tells them the unexplainable phenomenon of the tides. “Tides come in, tides go out. Tides come in, tides go out. And no one can explain it.”

Well, scientists can, but who wants to listen to their “theories,” when you can just believe what you want to believe. Hey, look! A floating apple! Suck it, Newton!