Do you like being groped by large men at night clubs? Tired of being told “I’m Deon Sanders, bitch!” by every well-dressed black man on the dance floor? Do you need Mel Kiper, Jr. to help you settle a paternity suit?

If drunken bathroom sex is in your future, enter today! Contest not sanctioned by the NFL.  Contest limited to women between the ages of 12 and 20. Trannies not eligible. Remember, he wasn’t going to respect you in the morning anyway.