I am not saying I’m a better interviewer than Mike or Chris Wallace combined, but let’s just say the work speaks for itself. I recently got to “gotcha journalism lamestream media” R.E.M. bassist, Mike Mills. This is all from memory. Keep in mind, I had recently consumed absinthe. True story.

Mike (talking to a man in a wheelchair): mumble, mumble.

Philistine: Timmy. Timmy.

Mike: Nice meeting you.

Philistine: Mike, quick question and a follow up. Best R.E.M. album, and a follow up, best song?

Mike: Well, I don’t know if I have a favorite. I don’t really listen to our stuff. I think it’s all pretty good.

Philistine: Wrong! “Fables of the Reconstruction” is clearly the best album, and the best song is “Harborcoat.” Next question. You’ve made some money. Want to invest in a movie we’re making?

Mike: I don’t if I’d invest in a movie. I might want to do the score.

Philistine: Yeah, like people want to hear a bass player’s soundtrack. Good try.

Mims: We are making a movie.

Philistine: This is MY interview! Hey, the new record is pretty good. I burned a copy for him (pointing to Etouffe) but he hasn’t listened to it yet.

Etouffe: He made a back up file, is what he meant to say.

Mike: (to Etouffe) Are you a fucking lawyer?

End of Interview.