Since John McCain has started referring to Barack Obama as “The One,” I just assumed FOX News would dub him “The Dark Knight” in a cross promotional effort. I was wrong. The New Yorker did.

How good is “The Dark Knight?” How many angels cry on the head of a pin when you sew on a button? Stop asking stupid questions. It’s great. Tony the Tiger great. It is everything you expect from a Christopher Nolan movie: overdose of atmosphere, anti-heroes, ethics and morality turned on their heads, and then someone dies. And to make it better than other movies, it has Heath Ledger getting all method with his inner Joker. No wonder the guy was partying with Mary Kate Olsen prior to his accidental overdose. Playing a psychopath as well as he did probably made him want to spend time with the entire “Full House” cast just to feel squeaky clean again.

Obviously something affected the cast of “The Dark Knight.” First Ledger OD’s and then Christian Bale beats up his Mom and sister. Oh, and then Morgan Freeman gets into a near-fatal car accident. Will somebody please check on Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhal? I wouldn’t worry so much about Michael Caine. I’m sure he’s using that exquisite and discerning taste of his to begin filming a Mr. Bean classic or something with Larry the Cable Guy.

But back to the presidential race, if I may. The super moronic issue of the day concerns whether or not to let oil companies drill for imaginary oil off the coasts of every state that has a coast. The argument FOR is that it is “our” oil, which will “end” our “dependence” on foreign oil. I am all for that argument, assuming we are going to get all Socialist with “our” oil. I mean, if we the people are going to own that oil, and all other oil procured within our country, then let the drilling begin. But if coastal drilling means letting multi-national corporations like British Petroleum take all the black gold they want and then sell it to China and India, then not so much.

Again, how is this forward thinking for an energy crisis? This is a Bush answer to a complex question. If his ice cream dish is empty, then get him more ice cream. Problem solved. “But all of the cows are dead, Mr. President.” “Then look for cows on the bottom of the ocean.” See, it just doesn’t work.

For once, and really just this once, why can’t Republicans listen to their super rich bastard uncle, T. Boone Pickins, who would like to see energy harvested from wind power. I realize it is a sensible idea, however, I’m not sure I like the fact that a multi-billionaire is going to own all of the wind. Couldn’t he just buy a baseball team?

Hello, Newman. Yeah, that’s me and lead New Pornographer Carl Newman. I was waiting for my gal pal, Neko Case to finish her shower and come outside and sign an autograph when I ran into Carl. Funny thing is that not visible to this photo is police tape around our waists. Apparently, someone had been stabbed but scant moments before we took this picture.

Carl wasn’t as engaging as I would have hoped a pornographer, new or old, would be. He didn’t want to discuss hockey (I didn’t either but I thought I was throwing his Canadian ass a bone), he didn’t want to talk music (though he claimed to really love The National) and he really didn’t want to go and get Neko for me. Even after I told him that I was one of about (sorry, aboot) 37 people who had purchased his solo CD.

Oh, well, at least they put on a great show, even without Dan Bejar. And speaking of great shows, her Mims and I took in one of the final shows of The Police, who in 2 short years have earned $350,000,000 promoting albums that were recorded in the early 80s. Having seen the Police twice before, and having paid 10% of the current face value of  ticket then, I have to say that the old blokes still know how to rock. My only complaint might be that Sting occassionally would veer off into Dave Matthews jam band jazz, but Stewart Copeland was there to bang him back into a rock show. Plus, for a 65-year-old geezer, Andy Summers still shreds the ole carrot. Opening act Elvis Costello and the Imposters started their set 10 minutes early, but I think it’s because they had a lot to say. Elvis mixed a nice blend of old classics and new stuff, and even had Herr Stinger join him for a duet of “Allison,” a song about Allison Janney from “The West Wing.” All in all, it was worth taking money from a shylock to pay for it. Hope my knees recover in time for the New Order reunion.

We’ll be back after these public service announcements.