The more you buy, the more you save. That phrase is not just good for retail, it’s good for retail politics. If you want to save the economy, “Go to the mall and shop.” If you want to save the Republican party, then we are going to have to join them. It’s the only way.

Democrats nationally outnumber Republicans by the millions. It is time for a lot of us Dems, and some like-minded independents, to join the ranks and bring some sanity to the GOP.

If this never-ending presidential primary season has shown us is that moderate, science-believing Republicans are being hunted to extinction. The poop-wielding magic-thinking lunatic fringe are being led to choose a soulless branch manager who has been completely bought and sold by the under-taxed billionaires.

Romney has always been the only possible nominee. He didn’t arrive at this point by surprise. He was manufactured. He’s a Wall Street candidate straight out of central casting. He’s a sexless, boozeless Don Draper without the intellect. He’s the guy they’re betting on for racist America to believe will turn this ship around. The ship that their last guy parked on an iceberg.

He’s also part of their Team who will finally end Social Security, Medicaid and Medicare. The Team that will continue the tax cuts, the oil subsidies and the defense purchasing. The Team that will defund education, allow poison in our drinking water and mercury in our air. You know, the good guys.

As Senator Susan Collins of Maine hangs up her furrowed brow and retires as the last “moderate” Republican, we can let her know that her work was not in vain. Imagine a world where we, the new thoughtful Republicans argue with our gun-toting brethren about policy that doesn’t include Christ, fetuses and the Caliphate. Imagine Republican candidates having to cater to our concerns and our demands. Why Mitt could flip back to being Mitt 1 Point O.

As exit polls keep reporting about how Republicans in mass numbers are voting for Obama, Fox and Friends will start running out of friends. O’Reilly will be reduced to calling both parties “pinheads.” Hannity will be forced to go back to masterbating to images of Hitler.

Forty percent of organized labor already votes Republican, so this isn’t a huge leap. Hell, even 10% of African-American voters selected George Bush. And don’t even get me started on those self-loathing Log Cabin Republicans.

We can do this. We can take over the Republican Party by becoming the Republican Party. And out motto will be: “Today American, Tomorrow Texas!”