Remember the lead President Obama had over Mitch Romney prior to the first debate? What? It’s Mitt? Really? Are you sure? Okay, anyway the President had a insurmountable lead. Happy days are here again. A puppy in every pot. Blah blah blah.

The Oligarchs who fund SuperPacs met in their secret fortress and decided that the Borin’ Morman was a bad choice after all, and that they would have to draft a new strategy for world domination. The plan was, as reported by the NY Times and others, that they would pull money from promoting Romney and put it into their Senate candidates. In other words, let Obama keep the White House. We’ll buy the Senate.

So what did Team Obama do? They looked at the map with projected electoral college votes. They did the basic math and proclaimed, “hey, we’ve already locked up a landslide. This is awesome.” Then some buzz kill said, “But what if we lose the Senate.” Uh oh. Someone, probably Axelrod, said “And that would be worse than having Harry Reid how?” Ha ha ha. Everyone ate Oreos and took magic mushrooms.

Then they imagined how awful Senate Majority Leader Jowly McConnell would be. Committee Chairs Randy Paul and that asshole from South Carolina. No, not him. The other one. And, of course, the Ancient Goiter from the desert. Oy vey.

So someone threw out an idea. A hair-brained, wonderful idea. Probably Axelrod. “Hey, what if you threw the first debate? Spoke like a lamo. Seemed disinterested and disoriented. Get Romney back in the game. Might get the Oligarchs into thinking they could still win the White House. I mean, we still only need to win Ohio anyway.”

“But what if we don’t win Ohio?” said someone, maybe Sasha.

“Romney said to hell with the auto industry. No way he can win Ohio,” said, and I’m guessing, Axelrod. “This will work. Remember Muhammad Ali.”

Sadly, the younger staffers didn’t know who the hell Ali was and older ones didn’t want anything to do with anything else named Muhammad. Axelrod continued:

“It’s a typical sports ploy. You appear to be weak to give your opponent false hope. You exhaust their resources and energy letting them think they’re winning, and then, blammo, you knock them out. I’m a genius.”

And with that plan in place they summoned John Kerry to “coach” the president on how to lose a debate to a despicable opponent whom most of America wouldn’t mind seeing punched in his saleman’s chin. Good work, everybody! Obama can remain the president and Todd Akin won’t be a senator. Win-win!!