Speaker Nancy Pelosi has introduced HB434 naming June 1st as a National Day to Punch members of the National Rifle Association, and Presidential Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has said the President will quickly sign it into law. While the law is vague about what areas of the body are fair game, it is assumed that the face, beer gut and/or testes are the most obvious choices for striking. While Speaker Pelosi claims to have not really read the bill she has managed to secure several  co-sponsors from Vermont, Delaware and France.

“Look,” said President Obama. “Ahhhh, obviously we know that some, ahhh, NRA members are good folks. But, ahhh, look, some of these folks just need to be punched. That’s all. Helen?”

Added Vice-President Biden, “If you do get punched, then Champ, pick yourself up and shoot somebody. Especially if they have swine flu or whatever the hell it is the President’s calling it these days.”