fotoflexer_clintHappy Holy Days, heathens, and welcome to our semi-annual early Oscar predictions. I’m going way out on a limb here because I haven’t seen many movies this year. Of course, that shouldn’t  stop me from predicting what are usually very predictable awards. Best Actor will go to sentimental favorite Clint Eastwood( pictured left)  for “Gran Tarino,” the movie where he reprises the catch-phrase happy Dirty Harry character and shoots a car. He edges out Tony winner Frank Langella while simultaneously crushing Sean Penn for playing Jack McFarland in the movie version of “Will & Grace & Milk.”

Best Actress goes to Kate Winslet because she really wants one and made a Nazi movie. Fans of the HBO series “Extras” might remember the episode where Kate played herself making a Nazi movie in an effort to gain an Oscar. Nicely done!

Best Picture: “Wall-E.” There, I said it. Huzzah! Take it to the bank.

In the easiest prediction of the night, Heath Ledger wins his posthumous Best Supporting Actor award for playing the Joker in “Dark Knight.” On the plus side, it will be the shortest acceptance speech of the night. Best Supporting Actress goes to …someone British?

Well, enough predictions for day. We’ll return after the Holy Days for our Best of Lists. Maybe I’ll even see some movies in the mean time.

Don’t forget to start marking your calendars for a HUGE March, 2009. 3/1 is the 30th birthday party to end civilization for comedian sister, 3/3 is the release of Neko Case’s latest masterpiece “Middle Cyclone,” and 3/6 is the opening night of “Watchmen.” Wow, what a week that’ll be! I hope Clint Eastwood can make it until then.

I’ll bring the popcorn, you bring the microwave.