• Declares leprosy a largely preventable disease that is the result of alternative lifestyles.

• Begins an off-shore ministry just out of reach of having to render unto Caesar.

• Uses knowledge of the carpentry trade to endorse a chain of Home Improvements retail outlets.

• “Dictates” gospel to publicist.

• Shaves beard and grooms hair into the messy “Jimmy Fallon”-style.

• No longer wears raiment, but instead drapes self in flag.

• Removes Judas from 12-man Board of Directors setting into motion an unfortunate chain of events.

• Speaks for God.