Before I get to future considerations regarding “Sing Them Blues, White Girl: The Jackie Jormp-Jomp Story,” and continuing with Joe Flaherty Week, I want to explain my role in former Republican House Majority Leader Dick Armey’s plan to derail health care reform.

FotoFlexer_DickArmeyWhen I was younger and looked like an Israeli comic, I met Dick Armey, who was not impressed when I told him that I thought the Dick Army was a rag-tag paramilitary group of ex-porn stars. Long story short: Dick Armey looks like he’s ready for the wild rumpus to start. Now, Dick is an ex-Congressman who heads FreedomWorks, a rag-tag group of former porn stars who want to end health care reform before it begins.

FreedomWorks is a division of Americans for Prosperity, as opposed to Americans for Poverty, their much less-successful ultra ego. Anyway the FreedomWorks website boasts mainly helpful slogans to “Take Action Now to Stop Obama’s Health Care Takeover!” How can you help?

Well, memorize these talking points courtesy of the big Dick:
1 ) Obamacare is riddled with taxes
2 ) Will lead to Medicare cuts
3 ) It’s going to raise insurance premiums
4 ) Obamacare is Force, not Choice
5 ) Nothing but a big insurance boondoggle
6 ) Your privacy will be violated
7 ) No lawsuit reform
8 ) Has strong bi-partisan opposition

That last one especially stings because Dick Armey was always about reaching across the aisle to disgruntled Democrats. Number 4 is poignant also, because Republicans have always been strong supporters of “choice.” Let’s chalk that one up as another boondoggle.

Hey, the website also offers quotes from Dick that he stole from Reagan. Like this one, “Never believe it when someone says, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” Zing! Like people will ever forget Obama’s gaffe of “Heckuva job, Brownie.” Or this Dick gem, “Old fogies don’t tolerate young fogies.” The message is clear: Dick supports gay marriage. He just prefers to call gay men “fogies.”

Of course, while you are gluing tea bags to your hats and pasting Hitler moustaches on pictures of the President, remember that as a former House Member, Dick Armey gets taxpayer funded health care for the rest of his life. His spouse too! And not Medicare, but the champagne of health care plans. So when Dick Armey tells the government to keep their paws off of his health care, we know why. It’s free. And Freedom works for Dick Armey.

Okay, so what’s happening with that Jackie Jormp-Jomp biopic? Not sure, but let’s take a look.